Granted, but it's a homemade sauerkraut and pillow stuffing cake.

I wish I had a potato.

Granted, but it is sentient with a tragic back story, and sits up to tell it to you in order to smash your heart into zillions of pieces.

I wish I had my own, personal cloud.

Granted but it is a sad cloud and it is always raining

I wish I had more energy today

Granted, but now you have too much energy, and you are running around like Ryou. Unfortunately, you're not used to having that much speed, and you run into a wall.

I wish I had a big claw foot bathtub.

So mean xD

Granted but then the claw would trap you and your would have to call Hanzo to play some must and sing it to sleep otherwise you will be in the bathtub forever...

I wish I could teleport.

Granted, but every time you teleport, your hair falls out.

I wish I had another cookie.

Granted but the cookie will multiply every 20 seconds increasing the amount of cookies in your house to the point of taking over your home unless you eat them quickly xD

I wish I had more energy...