It was one of those particular nights where Miyuna was unable to find repose in the land of dreams. It seemed to happen more often than not. Lately her mother had been much more active in looking for ways to gain power and the young Princess could not fathom why she had such an obsession when she had a good position at court and every comfort imaginable. And this had been thanks to the generosity of the imperial family and definitely not something they should have been obliged to do. It was one of the reasons she was quite fond of her father the Emperor and his wife and daughter. They felt more like her family than her own mother did. She shuddered at the horrible men she had to entertain for tea because her mother believed they would be a good catch being men of high standings and power. Some of them were old enough to be considered her grandfather, Mina had no true regard for her own daughter; all she wanted was the power that came with being the mother of a Princess.

Miyuna sighed as she fixed her cloak and ensured the hood covered her face as she made her way to the gardens under the protection of the moonlight. Her golden eyes shone with a light of their own as she took in the beauty of the flowers and the small ponds tainted by the moonlight, there was something mesmerising about the moon in the middle of the night. It was one of her favourite things, walking to the garden and enjoying the beauty of firmament and all its stars. She did not do this often for she was constantly chastised for always putting her life in danger when doing this. She did not mean to be careless but sometimes she needed a bit of freedom, being a Princess at times felt more like shackles than a privilege. Masao understood her, she felt the same way, or so she often said.

She reached the lake and knew she was far enough from the Palace to avoid being heard if she played her shinobue. It was one of the things that helped her relax and refocus. She stopped for a moment to gasp at the beautiful reflection of the moon on the still water of the lake and her eyes sparkled with delight. It somewhat made her think of a certain imperial samurai, she knew how much he enjoyed writing poetry and not only that but he was truly talented. How did she know? Well, for some reason Takeshi wrote poems in his notebook and gave it to her to read. Thinking about it tainted her cheeks a slight hint of vermeil ion and she covered her face with the sleeve of her kimono feeling slightly shy about it, it was so silly, there was no one around so why did she mind? She felt her heartbeat increase and closed her eyes for a moment. She loved that man but she would never be allowed to be with him and she did not know what his feelings were.

She assumed that he was simply doing his duty as her protector, but sometimes it felt as if there was this tension between them, as if there was something more between them. For the most case she convinced herself that it was all her imagination portraying her heart’s deepest desires for she was fully aware of her own feelings. At first she had tried to deny these emotions, thinking them improper and knowing that no one would approve of such a union, provided that he shared the same feelings as her. She was not like her mother, she could never force someone to love her. However, even if she never revealed her feelings, as long as she knew he was standing beside her and he was happy and well then she could live happily knowing that the man she loved so deeply would be okay.

It was one of the reasons she could not see herself getting married to anyone. She loved Takeshi too much to betray her feelings and make herself and someone else unhappy. No matter how much her mother blackmailed her, she would never yield. Even if she blackmailed her with damage to her persona, she would most rather perish than betray her feelings for the brave samurai. She also did not wish to bring shame to his name because of her feelings so she kept them hidden and one of the few times she expressed her affections toward Takeshi was music.

Taking out her shinobue she looked at the lake once more before she closed her eyes and began playing a melody she had composed for Takeshi. A gentle breeze caressed her long blue hair and moved the hood away from her head as the melody started gently and shy, like her feelings for the samurai and then slowly merged into a blossoming affection up to the turmoils of passion she concealed in her breast in order to prevent anyone from finding anything out. This music was the outlet of all her emotions, the frustration of being unable to release them and the sorrow of knowing it would never be reciprocated or possible.

She had considered talking about this with her beloved sister Masao, but she knew that the young Princess already had much on her plate. Especially being a Seishi. She dreaded the day when Masao would leave the Palace in order to look for her Miko and fellow Seishi for she would lose her best friend and knew that she would feel the lack of her sister. But she also knew that it was her duty as a Seishi. One day she would have to go and Miyuna would be unable to stop her. If only she could go with her, just as the several times where they had sneaked out of the Palace in search of adventure.

Takeshi was a man with a problem. Well, everal problems, but they all seemed to center around one young woman.

Princess Miyuna Soutou…

She was his charge, and it was his sole duty, day and night, to keep her safe. This was easy to do most of the time, as she was gentle, kind, intelligent, and very easy to talk to.

That led to one of his biggest problems. He had fallen madly in love with her, and he could never let her know. She was the illegitimate daughter of the Emperor and one of his Advisors, but she was a princess all the same, and no one would ever approve of a Samurai loving and wishing to marry a princess. He was well regarded, true, but he was not of noble birth. HE could offer her all of the love he felt within his heart, he could offer her his soul in eternal companionship, and he could offer his body to hold, comfort and protect…but the Emperor would never allow that to be. He was simply outclassed by this beautiful woman. So, instead of ever telling her his feelings, he simply wrote poetry describing her beauty - which she seemed to enjoy reading, even if she never seemed to realize they were all about her - and he would play his biwa during the quiet evenings, as she also enjoyed music. Other than that, he contented himself with keeping her happy and safe, and pledging his life and his sword to ensure she would always be thus.

He had been granted a room directly next to hers so that he could be there in an instant, should she need him, day or night. He had even rigged the entrances to her room with little chimes that would jingle to notify him if the door or window were opened after she had turned in for the night. It was not loud enough to alert anyone outside his room, but as he was a light sleeper, it would be more than enough to get his attention immediately. He, the Emperor, and Miyuna were the only ones who knew of this little precaution, as he needed the approval of the other two to set things up. He had shown Miyuna how to enable the little wire before bed, and disable it when she was ready to leave her rooms for the day.

That was perhaps another one of his problems. She and her sister had a worrisome habit of sneaking away to seek adventure, and usually he was the one following them from the shadows to ensure their safety. He could understand how tired they got of being cooped up in the palace, but it also gave him a headache to think that if he could track them so easily, anyone else could as well.

Speaking of…

Takeshi looked up from where he was composing a new poem for his secret beloved. He heard her door open almost soundlessly, and close nearly as softly. No jingle from the chimes. She had disabled it to sneak away. And judging by what he could hear… She was alone. Only one set of footsteps. HE sighed, but couldn’t help smiling as he stood and strapped on his katana. He knew where she would be going. It was the same place she always went on beautiful, clear nights like tonight. It was reckless and dangerous of her to venture out like this, but he could never get truly angry with her. HE was too gentle. Too…perfect.

“You’re a fool, Takeshi…” He muttered to himself as he ghosted after her, never making a sound or alerting her to his presence, but always keeping her within sight. He would give her some time to herself, and then he would make his prescentknown and lead her back to the palace proper, and the safety of her room.

She took out her shinobue and began to play softly, and he shifted just a few steps closer - still well hidden within the trees - so that he could hear better. As he listened, his mind was overcome with the emotions the song portrayed, and how startlingly beautiful she was. Skin as pale as moonlight, hair the color of the night sky and eyes that sparkled like the stars above. He felt his heart may burst with how much he loved this fair creature, and he felt it twist with the disappointment of the simple fact that she could never be his. He felt a tear in his eye, and used his sleeve to wipe it away, letting her finish her song and ensuring there was no sign of the overwhelming emotions he’d just been feeling. Taking a deep, silent breath, he walked forth out of the trees and revealed his presence to ger. “It is indeed a beautiful night to play, Miyuna-sama, but if you had told me of your intentions, I would have gladly escorted you here…” He smirked, not a teasing expression, but rather almost conspiratorial. “And perhaps I may have brought my biwa. I know you do enjoy it in the evening…”He stopped before her, and deep blue eyes looked into the shining amber. She was beautiful beyond words, and only part of that was her physical beauty…a small part, in his estimation. He thought that if he had the ability to see her soul, he would see the purest, most beautiful thing ever crafted by the Gods, and he wished for a moment that he was a painter, rather than a poet. The image of her standing in the moonlight by the lake, playing her flute, would stay burned in his mind forever. It would be a sweet dream to chase away any nightmare.

When he spoke again, his voice was much quieter, fonder and warmer than the tone he was forced to use when they were not alone. “We may stay as long as you wish, Miyuna-sama, but I hope you will let me stay here with you, in case anything should happen…”

Miyuna was no foolish woman, albeit a bit innocent at times. She knew that the things she wished for in life was unattainable. A Princess was a position of privilege and that resulted in specific obligations that she had to fulfil, even though she was an illegitimate child of the Emperor, she was still royalty and that meant she did not have the option to do what her heart longed for, to escape this life and marry the man she loved with all her heart. But she could not tell the Emperor any of this either, it would be silly to show such ingratitude and abandon the imperial family for her own selfish desires. Besides, she did not want to impose her feelings on Takeshi, after all, he had a bright future ahead of him and most of the ladies in the court favoured him. The fact that he played music and wrote poetry did not go unnoticed and most ladies sighed whenever he walked past them in pure captivation and delight, and the fact that he was still single, well, it placed a sign above his head for women to fight for his hand in marriage or to be the recipient of his attentions. Her eyes focused on the still water for a moment before fireflies surrounded her and the pond making this a most enjoyable moment of peace and tranquility where she did not have to worry about anything of the sort. No worries about her feelings and the solitary fate that awaited her as an instrument of the Kingdom, the evil designs of her mother and the gentleness of a man who swore to protect her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment before she slowly released the breath. This beautiful moment could not be interrupted, not even by her beautiful music. At least her mother did not keep tabs on everything she did, otherwise, she would be prohibited from indulging in these little moments of peace.

Of course, she did not wish to make Takeshi’s job difficult by leaving her chambers in the middle of the night, but it was impossible for her to do this at any other moment as her days were packed with teaching sessions, appointments with citizens to listen to their issues and offer the Emperor solutions and meetings with potential marriage candidates. Her days were so busy she barely had enough time to eat, rest and spend with her family. And that also depended on them not being busy themselves, as Crown Princess, Masao was way busier than Miyuna and so were the Emperor and Empress, so most of her free time she spent in solitude and deep meditation or… in the company of the man she loved. Sometimes she considered asking the Emperor to appoint her another samurai in order to break free form her bond with Takeshi, even though she wanted nothing more but to have him hold her and kiss her troubles away. Every morning and night she had to hold back all the feelings Takeshi evoked within her, her longing for this man and the desires of the depths of her heart. There were moments when she was near her limit and her hand moved tentatively to touch him, but she only just managed to retract her hand and make it an unperceived gesture by others. She was afraid that the time would come when she would be unable to restrain her longing and she would do something that she would end up regretting, because she was more than certain that Takeshi did not feel the same way. It was childish of her to even dare to hope he would love her with as much passion and it would also be unfair for Takeshi as he would never be allowed near her.

Not all was lost for Miyuna, however. In these moments of solitude she allowed herself to think of the man she loved, of a future where both of them could love eon another and a life where he shared these feelings with her. She composed melodies to soothe her soul and release all the emotions she bottled inside every single day. It was her outlet for everything she suffered in order not to give up on the samurai who, she was more than certain, always kept a close eye on her. She would not be surprised if he had taken notice of her escape from the very moment she left her bedroom. It was positively tragic to love a man she spent time with every day and who remained at her side morning, day and night, and to be unable to grant him her heart. Silence could be a rather tormenting fiend. But she had no other choice, she would have to live with this secret and take it to her grave. No one could know, especially Takeshi. She was determined not to destroy their friendship and give her mother and reasons to suspect her and do something to Takeshi. She knew quite well the kind of person that Mina was. She did not allow a single grain of salt to interfere with her plans and she eliminated them as soon as they emerged. No, she would keep Takeshi safe from everyone, even herself.

One thing she asked Suzaku every night, that in her next life she would be granted the chance to meet with Takeshi on more equal footing. She wanted to be able to earn his affections and live together in a way that was not possible in this life. She placed a hand on her chest where her heart was and another hand atop that hand. She closed her eyes and like every night, she made that wish from the depths of her soul, she wanted to be bound to Takeshi in every single other life she could experience so that they could make up for all the time they were losing in this life. If the gods had any sympathy for the broken souls of mortals, she hoped that he would heed her request for she long for nothing else and she happily scarified in order to achieve such goal.

It was strange, even though she was a person without any of the skills Takeshi possessed, she always knew whenever he was near. Her eyes opened softly and she could feel her heartbeat increase and her cheeks a soft touch of pink. It was the love for felt for this man, it always let her know whiner he was near, and she had felt him as soon as she had left her room. Sometimes she did this, she escaped at night, not only to recover from the troubles that assailed every day, but also to be given an excuse to spend time alone with Takeshi. If anyone knew of this they would belittle her, for this was something a fully grown woman should not do. She would be told she forgot her station and the duties she owed the Empire. But, surely, any compassionate soul would grant her these few minutes of happiness. She would never do anything to tarnish their honour, but she longed to be in his company alone at night, when he granted his full attention to her.

Miyuna knew Takeshi was nearby as she played this one bittersweet melody that she had composed for him. Of course she would never tell him that, she would never play it for anyone else either. She wondered if he would notice if she only played it whenever he was beside her. If only… It was the very reason she played both with nervousness and anticipation. On the one hand a musician and the man she loved was listening in on her little concert and that put a lot of pressure in her performance, on the other hand it was exhilarating to have him listen to the depths of her soul and she wondered, with the smallest of hopes, if he would guess the depths of her feelings though this little symphony of her heart. Perhaps she was foolish, but she would never gip up hope, as meagre as it could be.

“It is indeed a beautiful night to play, Miyuna-sama, but if you had told me of your intentions, I would have gladly escorted you here…”

As soon as she heard Takeshi’s words she turned to look at him, disappointed if only for a moment that there were no traces of her melody in his expression. She was more than certain that she had spoken to him from the depths of her soul and yet, he had not acknowledged any of it. She nearly felt a tear in her eye, what was she expecting? Takeshi did not love her like she did. She blinked in order to school her emotions and then smiled politely at him, “And deprive you of the chance to stealthily follow me thinking I would not know? Just the chance to see your face as soon as you realised you could never hide from me was worth the dangers.” She was teasing of course, it was a way to respond to his teasing words and pretend she was not in agony at that very moment and… in pain. There was nothing more tragic than unrequited love. She smiled t the mention of his biwa and then said, “Perhaps you could learn the melody and we could play together next time. However, this song I will never play for any other audience, but yours.” Takeshi did not love her, so there was no problem in being a bit honest, he would have no idea what she could be hinting at.

She smiled warmly as he stood before her, his lovely dark hair ruffled by the gentle touch of the wind and his deep blue eyes accented by the moonlight. How could she not love this man? And to think that he always tempted her so. He stood but inches from her, unknowingly invading her personal space, if she wanted… her hand slightly moved forward but she quickly schooled it to fix the edges of her cloak. Yes, if she wanted, she could read a hand up and caress his cheek or even run her fingers through his silky hair. She could lean up and press her lips against his own and no one would be the wiser. But, she simply could not, and her eyes glazed slightly with the pain of that realisation that stabbed at her heart and she had to grip her flute in order to stop herself from crying or gasping in pain and turning her back to this man. She did not want to give him any indications of her inner turmoil. It was so unfair, so bittersweet this moment they spent together.

“We may stay as long as you wish, Miyuna-sama, but I hope you will let me stay here with you, in case anything should happen…”

“Since when does a guard need the permission of the charge? Besides, I always enjoy your company Takeshi-san.” She loved pronouncing his name, it was such a lovely and melodic sound. Only after she spoke she realised how forward she had been and she looked back at the lake for a moment in deep embarrassment. What was he doing to her? Her determination crumbled whenever he was near her. It took all the energy in her body to restrain her longing and desires. Alas, such sad fate for the Princess of the Empire, to be denied the man she wanted, for him to become what she could never have. What is more, there wasn’t even a chance for them to become close, because concubines or lovers weren’t common things in Konan.

Fireflies danced around them and one of them got stuck on Takeshi’s hair, she gasped silently holding her breath for that made him even more handsome than he already was. However, feeling her cheeks turn a darker colour she silently reached out and ran her fingers though his hair in order to gently remove the bug without hurting it and without tearing any strands of hair. She then held the bug for a moment until it recovered for its daze and then flew away. His hair had felt so smooth, just as she had imagined, she smiled softly but then realised what she had just done without asking for any permission and then blushed darker, I’m so sorry… there was a firefly and I…” No, she could not tell him she wanted to touch his hair, “I’m sorry.” It had been such a sudden gesture, she only hoped he would not mind.